Week Two has come and gone in the 2023 Rugby World Cup with some more markers laid, and one or two more teams entering the fray of potential winners. I still think, dependent on the severity of Dupont’s injury, France will win it, but New Zealand, Ireland, and South Africa have more than thrown their hats into the ring. I get that I’ve left it a tad late (again) with the third round of fixtures underway and all, but you could’ve had it at stupid o’clock this morning instead when I couldn’t sleep and then this post would’ve made even less sense than they do normally. So instead of making a cup of lavender tea or something to try and get to sleep, I fell down a YouTube rabbit hole that started with Arsenal-PSV highlights but somehow ended up with me spending hours watching Kimbo Slice videos. A slightly shorter one this week too as Scotland didn’t play, so it’s just Wales, Ireland, and England to cover. Waffling aside, let’s get into it!

Wales: Uh…

Sheesh, Wales made hard work of that. It seems odd to go in too hard on a team that won by 20 points and got a bonus point to go with it, but that was pretty poor. I take absolutely nothing away from Portugal, they played tremendously and despite the score-line, they really pushed Wales to the limit at times. Wales really struggled with Portugal’s attack and looked shaky going into half time despite being 14-3 up. The second half was much the same, too many handling errors and really poor at the lineout. After the Jac Morgan try I just couldn’t see us scoring again, but once again, a sporting prediction of mine aged badly. It helps that Vincent Pinto was shown a late red for doing his best ex-WWE star Shawn Michaels impression and hit Josh Adams with a Sweet Chin Music, meaning Wales had the man advantage and Taulupe Faletau managed to make it over for the fourth try. But hey, it’s not all doom and gloom. I thought the scrum performed really well, before and after half time, and it’s still 10 points from a possible 10. Was it pretty? No. But the bonus point feels massive, and it sets up a win and you’re in situation for Sunday evening. My nerves are shot to bits already.

Ireland: *The Irish Word for C’est Magnifique*

This was going to be the game to see where exactly Ireland were, and where they are is a very promising place. It was a tighter affair than the Romania game, but they were still in complete control. The first half bonus point just showed how much of a battering this was going to be, and Johnny Sexton absolutely smashing Ronan O’Gara’s points record was a nice moment. There was a chance it could’ve gone a bit pear shaped when the Peter O’Mahony yellow led to a Tonga try, but it came to not that much. Half Time came at a perfect time and they had the chance to regroup and reassess. Whenever Ireland were under the cosh they defended incredibly well, and we all know how good they are going forward. To give Tonga credit they played very well in patches, but as soon as the gears started working there was never going to be a result which wasn’t an Ireland win. And once Tonga started to tire a bit, the Irish floodgates opened to record another massive points tally. Their biggest test will come next against South Africa, but just imagine the confidence that’ll be with this team if they end up beating the reigning World Champions. Incredible scenes.

England: Don’t ask Joe Marler for his Opinion on the Roman Empire

Sheesh, England made hard work of that. This was a beyond frustrating watch from start to finish. Much like Wales it feels weird to rip into a team that ended up with a bonus point, but yet again it was just bad. This was beyond frustrating to watch. I’m not sure if Japan were that good in attack or if England couldn’t tackle for squat, probably a bit of both. The game can just be summed up with Joe Marler’s header on for Courtney Lawes’ try. Scrappy, flustered, handling errors galore, just an incredibly annoying game of rugby. England reverted to kicking it at every given opportunity which unsurprisingly, didn’t work (well, apart from once for the Freddie Steward try). They were far too inaccurate in their kicking and made too many errors at the set piece for me. In the end, it was just a difference in quality between the two sides. They should’ve won by much more, as Japan gave them the opportunities, but inaccuracy and errors became England’s undoing on more than one occasion. On a more positive note, it’s nine points after two games for England which I don’t think even their most loyal supporters would’ve expected. If you’d asked England fans if they’d be happy with not very pretty wins against Argentina and Japan from their first two, then they would’ve bitten your hand off. Up next is Chile, and in all honesty, I have no idea how that game is going to pan out. It’s either going to be a bit of a scrappy bonus point win (like Wales-Portugal) or it’ll be a competitive steamrolling (like Ireland-Tonga). All I do know is that it’s bound to be a frustrating watch either way.